At 25 years of age we think a lot. For my part, reaching the quarter-century gave me a nasty slap in the face. Existential questions began to surface and it was then that I realized how I did not know myself. Being single a civil servant, not solitary, I did not know if I wanted to meet the love of my life, to start a family, to leave my job, to leave my company ... I was in limbo.
From that came the idea of getting to know myself, spending time with myself and finding out who I am. How can I have someone in my life to build future projects, when I do not even know what projects I want to build? To love, one must love oneself, but above all, one must know oneself in order to love one another.
So for the lost like me, here are some tips to get to know each other (I highly recommend this exercise):
1. Write your qualities and faults on a sheet of paper (describing your personality): ask your friends, your family to describe you in each category and do not begin to argue on their answers! Be open-minded! It is also an opportunity to analyze how you react to certain situations and understand your behavior. You could also list the qualities you are looking for in your future partner (do not list the faults, as we focus on the positive!)
2. Find your type of intelligence: Are you skilled in solving problems or rather in arguing and telling stories? Can you manage a team, listen and give advice? Do you think before you act? For my part, I relied on this website which summarizes well the different types of intelligence: http://www.csaffluents.qc.ca/im/PDF2005/ens_outils/Descr_8intell_ill270105.pdf
3. Write your motivations: Do you want to run a business or start your own business? Are you more interested in job security or you prefer to be independent and autonomous knowing the risks this entails? Would you like to serve others, to devote yourself to a cause? It is important to know what motivates you in your personal and professional life, because it will allow you to find a partner who will go along with you and encourage you in your projects.
4. List your interests and passions: What are your hobbies, interests? Do you have a passion? What makes you trip in life? Do you find that you devote enough time to your interests or passion? On dating apps, it's always a win situation to write your interests and passion!
5. The basic values: Values are beliefs that motivate your actions and guide the assessment you make of the actions towards others. Here are some of them: Freedom, pleasure and enjoy life, ambition, family, leadership, health, family security, obedience, respect, helpfulness, open-mindedness, equality, peace in the world, friendship etc.
Finding someone who shares the same values as you will avoid a lot of long-term conflicts!
This exercise may seem long and boring however ask yourself this question how long did you spend writing your text on BMG, Tinder and Bumble? With this list, you will write your next application in no time.
"Hi my name is Audrey, I'm 25, I am... I love ... I'm looking for ..."
Avoid writing your flaws and add a personalized touch and the trick is done. Ha ha!